One of those days…

May 12th, 2005

This is one of that kind of horrible days when everything seems to be normal, but it´s not. Normally, this happens after a good one or two days of success and strong motivation, strange. It’s that difficult to stay focused and concentrated? I simply can´t. It’s like having a sixth sense warning you all the time, like if you can´t see the light at the end of the tunnel, never. The only relief is to know that some calm and relaxed days are on their way, aren´t they? London: here I come…

Is it really true?

May 5th, 2005

Is it true that you are “that” smart? Is it really possible to reach every and each one of your wishes and dreams? (by the way, Are they really yours?), are you obliged to get all the goals that your parents and friends and relatives are putting on you? What happens if you simply want to stop and think about your life? This remembers me of the beginning of the Trainspotting movie: What if you don’t want to live that way?. It’s really painful to feel guilt if you don’t rush to live like everyone else. You can’t talk about your true feelings with nobody, because they will laugh at you or worse, they’ll say “you are nuts…”. I have realized that nothing guarantees a “safe” life, I mean, unless you win the Lotto or something like that, you’ll have to keep looking for ways to make your existence better every day. But, what if you don’t want to improve always? Is it really necessary? Why if you don’t feel confortable living with other persons? working everyday 8 or more hours? not knowing what to do next? The world can be a really cruel place. if you don’t fit, it will leave you behind…

Stop fighting with yourself and live!

May 2nd, 2005

Many times I have questioned myself about if I´m doing it right. I often compare my life with others that I consider “better”. How stupid. Doing this only produces two things: emptiness and frustration. I feel that I have let pass many special and unique moments only for trying to comply with everyone´s wishes. I think I should listen to myself with attention, to discover the things that I love and hate, to start learning how to live with them. Never is too late to recover past hobbies, greet loved ones, admit that many times I simply want to be alone, slow down (at last) and stop feeling guilty for everything that I´ve done and not… Yes, I like to realize this…